Show Your Work

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Here's the thing. 

Everything in my last post is true, but it's also BS. I am stressed. 

I have to work at maintaining my calm. It's effort. It's practice.

One of the ways I do that when tough things happen is by trying to determine what I can do and what I've done before. What can we do and what we've done before. If we haven't been through something together, it's good when one of us has experience. There's a lot of turmoil but what do I know how to do? I usually end up reminding myself that I have done a lot of this before. And by reminding myself that it's normal to react strongly to surprise, change, discomfort. And I tend to talk about what's going on, what might be happening, so people know where I'm at and can sometimes help.

Here's what I mean:

"You'll need to call your insurance company" - Remember, we had an accident in 2018. It was a pain but we got through it, and there was a lot of big life stuff happening at that time too. Got it. Hate it, but got it.

"You'll need to find somewhere else to stay tonight. Do you have somewhere else to go?" - We have other places to go and we can arrange a hotel. We've done that before. Is there a fridge and microwave? We packed overnight bags, breakfast, one set of camping cutlery, a bowl, a mug, and toiletries. 

"You'll be out for a while." Hmm. Other people we know who have been out for "a while" have been out for months. We'll need to find a place longer term and we'll need more than just an overnight bag. That's not a Day 1 problem. Talk to B about food options in a hotel room with only a microwave and fridge. What can I get from the grocery store that will be easy? Bread, berries, peppers, hummus, soy milk, sparking water in cans. What do I need to get from home? Two sets of cutlery, a small knife, small cutting board.

"Do you mind if we take some photos?" Sure. That reminds me, I'm going to take some photos and video so I remember what it was like. Things will get better and at some point I'll wonder how I had my pictures hanging. Also, I'll want something for my own reference.

"There's water on the floor in here. And in here." Well sh*t. Hmm. I'm glad we worked with Mindy to get everything organized in the storage room and my yarn collection. Everything is in bins and we've actually been through everything else in the condo. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be a lot of damage to our STUFF.

"So we'll check everything over, pack everything in the condo, and store it for you until the place is livable again." That sounds like a lot longer than a few weeks. OK. Think about vendors we deal with at work. Think about projects. Think about how estimates work. Under promise and over deliver. OK. What will we need if we're out for six months? I don't need to figure it out today but we can do it. I love spreadsheets. I have friends who love spreadsheets and that are willing to help with anything. Maybe Mindy can come back and help us get organized as we unpack...whenever.

It's like a constant exercise in reframing and coming back to the moment, the day. What's happening now?What can I change? What should I work on? What's good? What do I have? Do I actually need anything? 

I keep saying that I have to "lock down my fundamentals." Food. Sleep. Water. Figure out those basics so they don't draw on my decision-making bank. 

And I remind myself of all the positives while being realistic about what sucks. It wasn't fire or sewer, and no one was hurt. Yes, but it still sucks. 

My job is busy, involves a lot of big projects, a lot of people, a lot of uncertainty around resources and deadlines day to day. I literally have the skills and experience to handle this debacle. I actively remind myself that "it couldn't happen to a better team!" We are where we are. We'll get through it.

But it still sucks.


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